Let It Go

Forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Sometimes forgiving someone is hard.  We seem to think that if we forgive then we are letting them “off the hook” and we’re letting them get away with hurting us. When actually forgiveness is more for us than them.

Matthew 6:14-15
14. For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Forgiving others gives us the right to ask for forgiveness ourselves.

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Improved mental health
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• A stronger immune system
• Improved heart health
• Improved self-esteem

We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all hurt someone else. Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re human and we’ve all said or done something that hurt someone else.We don’t mean to and most of the time we don’t even realize we’ve done it. But sometimes we hold other people to a higher standard than we do ourselves. 

Has anyone brought something to your attention that maybe what you said could be considered offensive? You defend yourself saying “That’s not what I meant! You shouldn’t be so sensitive.” But, when someone says something you find offensive, you get upset and stew on it for a while. Ouch!!!

So what? The cashier was rude, the other driver cut me off , the waiter copped an attitude, the boss was short tempered, my husband is in a bad mood, my teens are being rude. Some of these things have absolutely nothing to do with me or how these people feel about me. Sometimes people have bad days and take it out on others – right or wrong it happens.

For instance, I love to sing!! I am not very good at it but I love it!! I don’t understand the dynamics of it and have a hard time staying on my part. I do pretty good if I can just sing lead but I’m not good enough nor have the confidence to sing the lead part. I’m more comfortable backing others and can usually stay where I need to if I can hear someone else.

Anyway, I have realized this is really a hot topic for me and I can get my feelings hurt very easily. We have a lot of AMAZING talented singers in my church and I was honored to have the opportunity to sing with the praise team for a while. 

There was one time that we were practicing and I was having a hard time getting my part right. I looked over and saw a couple of the more talented singers laughing and immediately assumed they were laughing at me. Of course, they were having a good time at my expense. In MY mind, they had it all worked out and thought it was funny that I was struggling. I was so hurt, it took everything in me to not run off the platform.

However, much later I learned they were laughing at something that didn’t have anything to do with singing and more importantly nothing to do with me.

I feel like the Lord used that situation to let me know that “I’m not all that”. People have more important things on their mind than me and whether I’m making a fool of myself or not. Really!! I’m not that important! This came as an “Aha moment”, a slap on the head for me. Not that I ever thought of myself as real important or anything, but it helped me put things in perspective and to let things go more easily.

What about you? Have you ever assumed someone was talking about you and got offended to only find out they weren’t talking about you at all? Newsflash! We are not front and center in other people’s minds. 

I’m reminded of an episode of “Blue Bloods” where some kids were playing basketball in the park. They were hanging out having a good time. One kid told a joke and they all started laughing. The “bad” guy, a “gang banger” came up and shot all four of them. When he was caught and being interviewed by Danny, the detective on the case, the gang banger said he shot them because they were laughing at him. Danny informed him that they were laughing at a joke, not him.

Now I know this is a TV Drama. But are we guilty of doing something similar in real life? Do we end friendships before getting the whole story? Do we share our side of the story without considering another view?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we need to ignore all rude behavior. We can speak up for ourselves and let someone know you don’t appreciate being talked to or treated a certain way. I’m saying that we need to be careful and not take everything so personal. 

Let’s Choose to Let It Go and Move On!! When we learn to do this on a daily basis, we will be so much happier. Trust me! It’s not as hard as it sounds and your life will have a lot more peace.